Sunday, July 19, 2009

Keith's Top Seven of the Week "Women I hope to have stalk (or have sometime of relationship with) me in the future" (Insert your aunt joke here)

Women, they are beautiful and mysterious. Wars have been fought and songs have been written about women. Every man above the age of 1o that isn't Ryan is constantly searching for the "one" that can be lady in the street but a freak in the bed (thanks Usher) So this week I get the top 7 most hardcore women real, fictional or dead but they are all of age.

7)Sarah Connor
The future mother of the machine resistance leader and the only woman who can make a tank top and cargo pants sexy. She would protect me in fights at bars and with our toaster. We could ride motorcycles and do pull ups until the machines finally took over.

6)Adrienne Rosenburg
For all of those unfamiliar with Adrienne Rosenburg she is the heiress to the Dunkin Donuts fortune. This women fulfills two of my three requirements for marriage, money and an endless supply of Boston Cream Donuts. Even if we didn't end up getting married, who wouldn't want to vacation on the fabled Donut Island.

5)Megan Fox

4)Marie Cuire
As I stated before dead women are allowed to be on my list if they have something extraordinary to offer the extremely one-sided relationship. Marie Curie had a brilliant scientific mind, we could spend days discussing chemistry and making love in the laboratory. I would also never need a flashlight because she glowed in the dark.

3)Jay's Sister
Jay's sister has made the list for two important reasons. One because she looks like Jay and two because if we dated I could use their indoor swimming pool as much as possible.

2)Kelly Osbourne
Ride the CRAZY TRAIN straight to the bank.

Ice began her Gladiator career in the second season of the show, hailed as the closest thing to male gladiator a woman could get. She excels at Powerball and Human Cannonball. Ice now has a lucritive career in the WPGA. I need a hardcore bitch to keep me in my place and show me the ropes on the obstacle course of life.

Check back next week when I debunk the myths of bread pudding.

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