Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Billy Hates Self Control

Alright, so, I guess this may not be one of your standard blogs. This isn't a rant in the typical sense, because it's something that might be seen as bad by SOME people, but I just can't stop thinking about it's joys.

I'm someone that thrives on my routines, and it's the most mundane of routines, most of which rely on watching a screen of some sort. My eye sight will probably leave me at a very early age, but I'm okay with that, knowing that I got to watch so much good TV and look at so many important and entertaining things on the internet, like movie reviews, whiny movie reviewers, movie posters, and porn. A great deal of porn. Or so I'm told. The thing of it was, it was something that had SOME places where it couldn't be had. Since I never fell into the laptop army, I always had a computer or a TV that had to be plugged into the wall. So, despite all of my best efforts, sometimes, I would have to go without my joys in life. Luckily, I was still able to stay inside and shield myself from the sun, but still, a small price to pay.

Then, Apple came along, and delivered something that has changed my life forever, in the worst way imaginable. I got an iTouch this week from work, for winning a sales competition. My old iPod broke, so I needed a new one, and this was the top prize choice and naturally I took it. Initially, all I was focused on was the fact that I had a new way to listen to music. Here's what I didn't think about. I can GO ON THE INTERNET WITH THIS!!! Constantly. Seriously, just non-stop. For someome without access to a laptop, I was able to experience something this weekend that I never thought I'd be able to. Pardon my french,

but I took a crap and surfed Facebook at the same time.

It was unreal. I signed on AIM, I held conversations, I posted links, I checked my email, all while doing one of my favorite past times. Maybe I'm getting a little too personal right now. It's entirely possible, but quite frankly I don't care. I just want you to know that most of the time from now, when you see me doing something online, just know that there's a real chance that as I do it, I'm dropping a doozy of a toozy.

I hope I've blown your minds and your stomachs.

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