Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Billy Can Save Her, He Just Knows It(Part 1)

Hello, faithful blog reader(s). I'm back yet again to rant about something. Actually that's really not accurate. I'm here to tell you a story. A filthy, scary, sad, debaucherous and sexy story. I'm here to tell you about last week, when myself and three friends went down to Atlantic City, and through a RIDIC(slang for ridiculous) set of circumstances, we wound up at a go-go bar. Ok, well let's just jump through the circumstances. They are as followed:

We were drunk, and one of us said, "Oh man, we should totally go to a strip club." and the other three laughed and tried to high five.

We left the casino and walked down the main strip and went into the first place we saw. We THOUGHT it was called "Go-Go City." We discovered later that it was actually called COCONUTZ Go-Go. See, you know it's good because they change the s to a z. So we go in, and the place is...SMALL. There's a little area in the middle, with a swing, where the girls could dance, and the bar was a horseshoe shape around. We paid the charge, sat down at the bar, and ordered up a round of drinks. It took only moments for the first of the shockingly aggresively and not so shockingly desperate for $1 bill dancers to make her way over to us, to gauge whether or not she could make some money off of us.

My only experience before this was also in AC, and the dancers who asked about dancers were very low key for the most part. They'd get close, ask, we'd politely decline and they'd move on. This first dancer was not from that school of thought. She went up to one of my friends and got very close and started dancing on him. After brief introductions, she delivered the following come on: "Well, hey, you want me to get your dick hard?"

Cue spit take.

That was unreal to me. I mean, I know where we were, but good LORD I expected a little subtley, for whatever reason. My friend passed, and she tried more classy lines to my other two friends, but to no avail. I was last in the line. All of a sudden, as I drank my bear, I felt her straddle my leg and start dancing.

I don't care about the allure, if you're with your buddies, this is not what you want to have happen. It is an awkward experience. She gave her name, I wanna say it was Nikki, and after a few seconds, she took her hand and rubbed it against my face, while whispering to me, "That could be my pussy."


Is this how these places usually work? Are they THAT desperate, and THAT low on dignity? It's funny before it's anything else. And I mean, they wouldn't use lines like that if they didn't know that it worked, so, ya know, good for those guys. I turned it down, politely, and we were left alone for a bit. I went to the bathroom after this, which was a BOLD move, considering where we were; who KNOWS what could have been going on in there. When I came back, my seat was taken, and I had to sit seperated from the group, which led to an encounter that very well may have changed my life.

And you'll find out....NEXT WEEK!!


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