Sunday, May 31, 2009

Top Seven of the Week "People or Animals that have wronged Keith in the past"

I am taking a cue from Billy this week and grinding my gears with some people or animals that have gotten up in my gangsta grill.

7)Brett Ratnerr

Director Brett Ratner has made my list because of his piss poor job of directing the final X-Men movie. He bastardized that trilogy so much that he ruined the other two movies for me. When I have my talk with him I will make sure to bring my juggernaut with me…

6)The inventer of bacon

I don’t know who he is or where he came from but the inventor of bacon will have a long conversation with me for killing my good friend Billy.

5)Aaron Burr

Shot and killed Alexander Hamilton during a gentleman’s duel. After years of professional and personal misconduct the two men decided to take their feels to the court. They shot it out… literally with pistols. If basketball was around back then it would have saved the lives of a great American hero.

4)People who drive Ford F150s

Let me be more specific, people who drive any truck down the left lane of a major high going over the speed limit. Is it really necessary to drive over 75 miles an hour in a truck that large. You are being silly. We understand that you need to race home to watch Nascar or beat your dog but some of us want to drive down the road with out fear of being destroyed.

3)John and Kate

Made famous after Kate because the first human to give birth like a farm animal and sold her story to the highest bidder. John and Kate plus Eight has enthralled the country with its roller coaster of emotion. Fuck that. This just proves my theory that idiots should be allowed to have kids.

2)The group of executives that canceled Ecto Cooler

Ecto Cooler was the best drink ever. It was associated with the best movie franchise ever. A group of professionals decided to axe it in the last 90’s and they will taste my blade.


Sharks are the apex of underwater predatory and they frighten the ever-living daylights out of me. The mere through of those torpedoes with teeth kept me off of beaches and out of pools for many torturous summers as a child. Yes that’s right I didn’t go in pools. So the next time you see a shark punch it right in the dick for me.

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