Dear HDO faithful...
I come to you all just a little sleep-deprived.... it's been a busy week. I did a little math and realized that in the last week, I've spent an average of 7 hours a day in my house, and that includes sleeping. So I've decided to share with you some of the interesting moments from the week thus far, since I have no real pearls of wisdom to share...
My new boss, who isn't fully aware of all of my quirks just yet, wondered aloud when I walked in the door this week, "Who was that dude that was in American Psycho? You know, the guy who's been Batman?"
Don't you just love it when someone asks a question you can answer?
At work, I was running around the tiny workspace we share, and trying to slide past people around me. Trying to shimmy behind my co-worker, Gary (of supervolcano fame), I decide not to pay attention to the hand gesture he's about to make. He's six and a half feet tall, I'm about 5'8". He throws an elbow backwards, and in the effort to not take said elbow to the face, I shrug up my shoulder to block. Instead, I take an elbow to the shoulder/chest area. It was like working with Keith for the day.
3. POLE DANCING
Went to Philadelphia for a bachelorette party for one of my college friends this weekend. On the agenda was a pole-dancing lesson for us girls given by an actual professional who happily didn't seem to be suffering from hepatitis. No real joke here. Just imagine me attempting to act sassy on a pole.
2. OUCH PART DEUX
There is a doctor who works at the hospital now for the past 4 years that I affectionately call HotDoctor. (For the record, this is not a Grey's Anatomy rip-off... I stole it from Scrubs when the janitor used to call Dr. Reid BlondeDoctor.) I turn into an absolute idiot around him, and have once actually walked face-first into a wall while trying to look nonchalant around him, but this was years ago. Anyhow, having not seen him for a few months, I was walking down to the cafeteria sort of spaced out, only wanting a cup of coffee when BLAM! HotDoctor basically hip checked me, and I got incredibly close to falling down - think Shaone Morrisonn vs. Ryan Callahan if you're a hockey fan - and so was born another awkward moment in my history. And it hurt. Alot.
1. ELEVATOR BLAST
I had to cover two different positions this week and wound up working up on one of the floors. When you work there, you carry around this little cellphone that only works in certain areas of the hospital so that nurses can annoy you even when you've gotten up and walked around a bit because so many nurses have already annoyed you. When you wind up in an area in the hospital without service, the phone will scare the crap out of you by beeping. I wound up in an elevator with a medical student, and my phone starts to beep - which by the way, sounds an awful lot like what a bomb sounds like when it counts down on an episode of MacGyver - and the medical student turns around with a look on his face that I can only interpret as fear that I might be a terrorist. I pull out the phone, and a look of relief washes over his face. He relaxes.
Then farts loudly.
Yep, I scared a fart of this guy. I beeped, he exploded.
Do you have any idea how hard it is not to laugh at that? I do.
Moral of this story - never underestimate a seemingly ordinary day...