Monday, June 1, 2009

Ryan and the Money Shot

Dear Reader(s),

Last Thursday I was invited to Otto's Bar in Deal - and...I seriously suggest that all of you go there. On the little black board, they give you a run down of all the fun things the do every night - "Wasted Wednesday" - "80's Night" (where beers are 80 cents) - and on Thursdays, they have BEER PONG TOURNAMENT! I was signed up with my friend Eva, and after we managed to win two games in a row, I got word that the winners get ALL the money that was pooled.

Excitment coursed through my veins like...blood...

Long story short, we lost. There was a man with one arm there. he didn't beat us, I just wanted to give you a visual of those who were participating. No, we actually got our asses handed to us by a man that looked like a cross betwen T.R. Knight from grey's Anatomy and a character from "Little People, Big World" and his partner, the 6 and a half foot giant with a poor tan and a horrible knack for LEANING, which, in the sport of the beer pong, is illegal. It's just as illegal as drugs, or kidnapping. So, we lost. But the beers were cheap and the women were loose. or so I'm told. But if you ever DO venture to this bar called OTTO'S - walk towards the back, head into the men's bathroom, and look right above the light switch. There you will find A MOTHER FUCKING HELICOPTER DANCE OFF STICKER!

*Also, if you go to the Lakhouse, you will find a sticker in the men's bathroom as well. This week I plan on going on with even MORE stickers. At the end of the month, no bathroom will be safe. Everyone will know of us! We are a rash! a disease! A HILARIOUS DISEASE! So go out, my children, and find my stickers. Take photos of those stickers, make stickers out of those photos, and post them on bathroom walls! POST THEM ON FISH TANKS! do my bidding, and let's make this world a little bit more helicoptery. :)

Side note: Beofre I closed up shop on Thursday, a young female came into the store and purchased a top for $19.50. She gave me a 20 dollar bill, and I fetched her change, placing it in my hand. I held my hand up, like I was about to drop the change, but the girl cimply looked at me...and "pounded" my fist. I began to laugh in her face - clearly letting her know that she was stupid - and said "no, i'm giving you your change back". So she took her goods, and walked away, her head hanging particularly low as she left. But I'll never forget that pounding. And hopefully, neither will she.

until next week,

jesus loves you.

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