Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Dr. Miche's Midweek Musings...

Oh, you HDO faithful.... let me tell you a scary story...

LATE one night, after leaving a theatre, I made a stop at the local 7-11 to grab something for breakfast the next morning, as I had to go to work. One of my younger friends named Luke thought it would be funny to run up to the side of my car and slam himself onto the driver's side window. Needless to say, I was not amused...

It should be noted that I am very easily startled. By "not amused" I mean that I had to suppress the urge to kick him in his tender bits.

Anyhow, he describes to me that he was errant in not securing a ride home, which was somewhere in the Wall area. I lived in Long Branch at the time and was anxious to get home to bed, since I had to wake up early for work the next morning. Suddenly, I had an idea: My buddy Keith happened to be travelling in that direction that night, so I called him to see if I could drop off my shennanigan-loving parcel so that he might deliver him home. He was very agreeable, and I proceeded to meet him at said theatre that we had both been patrons of that night. We bid each other good night, and headed our merry ways in opposite directions...

Yep, this was Keith of HDO fame. What a nice guy, right?

As I'm driving down 35, getting ready to make the right turn at Broad Street in Eatontown, the light turns red and I slow down. Then suddenly, out of the dark, a figure finds it's way in front of my car just before the 7-11 parking lot. I slam on the brakes and am truly shocked that it was a man who had jumped in front of my car. He was dressed in black and quite unkempt-looking, and it soon becomes clear to me that mentally, he is somewhat out of sorts.

"Out of sorts" is a huge understatement.

I wait on the highway - there's not another car in sight in either direction, and I figure this guy was just trying to scurry across the highway. Instead, he begins to violently curse at the front of my Honda Civic. Then he turns his attention to the sky, where he continues to plead to his Lord and call my Honda a son of a bitch.

I'm still not sure to this day whether some of his colorful language was directed at me, or if he was unable to detect that the car was not moving under it's own volition. I don't think it matters when all is said and done...

Now I'm faced with a decision - At first, my initial thought was to move into the left lane and keep going, but this gentlemen was sort of hell-bent on keeping my vehicle from causing him any more distress.... So he started to approach the car with a look on his face that said he meant business.

Holy shit.

I decide to make a run for it, so I hit the gas, and barely avoid the man while making it into the 7-11 parking lot, hitting a large puddle in the process that assured me a swift escape. It was then that he did something unexpected.

I looked in my rear-view mirror and now he was waving his arms, screaming like a banshee, chasing after my car.

Seriously, he was CHASING AFTER MY CAR.

I decide at this point that the speed limit was unnecessary, and I cheese it out of the 7-11 parking lot and before I have a coherent thought, I'm already halfway home. In my panicked state, I decide a phone call is in order... but it's now around 1:30 AM and I don't know who to call - so naturally I call Keith.

In hindsight, I don't know why I did that. Officially, I asked him whether or not a call to the police was in order, but honestly, it was over. Basically I was just a wailing woman.

Keith convinces me that calling the police is not a bad idea, and then I go home, shake a little, and remember why I don't like zombies.


By the way, this wasn't a dream. This was real. Ask Keith.

Snuggles to you all,

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