Thursday, June 11, 2009

Sean's Thurs-A-Day In The Life

Imagine, if you will, a day in the life as another person. I have saved you time on what you think I would believe a day in the life to be...I have chosen the Gordon's Fisherman.

4:54am Wake up with a cigar in my mouth from the late night boozin' and smokin' while on the hard seas catching all those god damn fish.

5:01am Sit up in bed and head to the bathroom. Always wearing the signature yellow raincoat and floppy cap.

5:30am. Time for breakfast! 3 hard boiled eggs to be washed down with some Jack Daniel's and chased with Pickle Brine.

5:45am Out the door for a brisk walk 500 feet to the dock. The beginning of the Blue Turtleneck Collar Day.

5:59am Punch in.

6:00am-9:15am Being a man, catching fish and punching them all in the face with a net of thorns and semen...Sea-Men.

9:15-9:45am Union Break

9:45am-12:34pm Being the manliest man talking about gloryholes, fighting the sea stories, tidal waves, one-night stands, emotional attachment, and killing things.

12:35-1:35pm Union Lunch Break. Eat caviar, Wheat Thins and washing it all down with a nice chilled Pellegrino. Only the best!

1:35pm Yell at the foreman in the mirror. The Gordon's Fisherman is the Foreman and Supreme Being of any body of water.

2:45pm. After the 1:35pm nervous breakdown session and excessive self-loathing crying in the corner to get out the emotion of being the loneliest man in the world, it's time to tackle the biggest time of the day. Practical Joke Time on the rookie.

3:17pm Set up a pulley attached to the main nets that looks like any ordinary pulley with rope around it, put blue tape on both ends to show you mean business. Don't tell anyone what you are doing. When the time is right get ready for the fireworks.

3:26pm All hands are on deck pulling the last of the load of non-feeling making fin meat in the net of thorns and masculinity. Ask the Rookie to grab the rope with the blue tape to stable the net for unloading...then.....

Beat the living shit out of the Rookie with your fists of fury where the Rookie is inches from death. Hold the Rookie's life in your hands, let that god damn no good Rookie know who runs this mother fuckin' vessel and if the Rookie disobeys anything, to the slightest bit, you will end the Rookie's life and everything that the shitty Rookie calls life.

3:54pm Punch out and give a big middle finger to the crew while saying, "See you in the morning, it was a pleasure working with all of you today. Rookie watch your ass and put some ice on it."

3:55-4:09pm Walk home contemplating where you went wrong in life.

4:10-6:10pm Shower and cry.

6:15pm Eat Dinner. 3 hard boiled eggs to be washed down with some Jack Daniel's and chased with Pickle Brine.

6:45pm-9?pm Light up that cigar and listen to the sweet melodies of Kenny Rogers on the good ole reliable stereo, till slumber hits you in the middle of the eyes.

So there it is. The day in the life of the Gordon's Fisherman as seen by me, Sean Favre. Try to think of some other people that you may want to know what a day in the life would be. The possibilities are endless!


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