Sunday, August 2, 2009

Lizzie Loves Drunks!

If you know me well...and I'm sure you all know that I adore the act of recreational drinking. It has been a family pass time for centuries, filled with the joys of stumbles, unnecessary arguments, waaay too much kissing, and the occasional vomiting(me last Sunday). But there are times in my life when I do enjoy being sober.....and that is only when I'm watching OTHER DRUNKS!!!!! Here are a few of my favorite drunks at the moment:

Drunk man at train stop: So while returing home from NYC, the train stops at Middletown and I see this perfect specimen of an old drunk bum dancing and singing on the other side of the tracks. He's holding a can of Bud and seeing how far across the tracks his spit will go. I couldn't help but laugh at the utter merriment this man was having by himself, even when he was just inches away from falling off the platform. That man knows how to party!

Lady who needs a taxi: This is a love/hate relationship right here. So this crazy drunk woman comes into my place of employment and needs a cab cause it's pouring outside. She also needs it to be a specific cab # and cab driver. Now if you've ever called a cab company, they don't give a shit about that so I got hung up on like 5 times. Meanwhile, crazy drunk lady proceeds to fall asleep on my hostess stand, fiddle with my papers, and try to set me up with her invisible son. Although she was a pain to help out and caused me to stay at work later than I should, she will always have a special place in my heart.

My former roommate: One of my best friends, I love seeing her when she gets shit piss drunk! She is the classic drunk that I adore. Getting people to dance, challenging people to shots, having deep conversations totally out of place at a bar, sitting in the middle of the road, playing on a swing set, jumping into the ocean, and sitting on a curb for half an hour. She is fun fun fun for everyone and the epitome of drunk 20-somethings across America. God bless!

My parents: Family parties here we come! I'm from a family that very much enjoys drinking. none of us are alcoholics per se, but we can never have enough beer when the extended fam drops by. That is when I get to see my rents in full swing! My mother, who claims she can "drink you and your brother under the table" probably could have back in her prime. Now she still drinks just as much, but with a much lower tolorance. Get 2 margaritas in her and she is the happiest little Irish woman in the world!Then there's my dad....oh dad. Give him one glass of wine and you will get a show of maybe half of the childhood tv characters you grew up on from the 80's and 90's. After that, you will get a very long breakdown of Obama's current drama-rama and then let him sleep it off on the couch while the Mets game is blasting. It's not too different from when they're sober, but it's all hightened which is awsome!

That's just a few examples of my fav drunks. There have been many others in my past, so next time you see me we can swap stories of the drunks we hold near and dear to our hearts. Until then, I'm gonna go drink out of a boot!

Sloppy drunk kisses to all!!!!!

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