Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Billy's Movie Theater Targets Return

That's right folks, with the summer movie season winding down, I figure it was time for another edition of Movie Theater Targets. For the n00bs out there, this is basically my place to rant about all the different obnoxious people you encounter on your trips to the local cinema. Seriously, who let's these people out of the house.

This week? OLD PEOPLE. I'll be mean, because old people are dumb and can't work the internet.

Ok, so I had a run in with old people at a movie theater this week, and it drove me up the damn wall. I think old people have this conception of the world where they have earned their day in the sun and the right to do whatever they want. Maybe they did some bullshit like fight in a war or live through a depression or fight in a different war. I dunno, I'm sure it was tough. We're all playing our tiny sarcastic sympathy violins for you, honestly. That being said, shut the hell up in the movie theater. You may have earned the right to not look while you're driving, but you have not earned the right to ruin going to the movies.

Honestly. So, I'm sitting in the theater, waiting for the movie to start. The trailers begin, and I hear something really loud off to the side. My natural reaction is that it's the surround sound. Once I realize it's not, I'm even more confused, because for it to be people in the theater, they'd have to be talking at full volume. Who would dare do that, right? I casually turn my head and see two old bitc-, ladies, sitting and chatting up a storm. They're not even talking about the fucking trailers. Hell, they probably can't even see the trailers. They probably don't even know they're in a movie theater. They probably got lost on the way to the VFW. I've seen it a hundred times. They do not stop during the trailers. It's incredibly distracting to the point where I can't hear the trailers, all I hear are these two probably talking about the last place they remember seeing their teeth. Once the movie started, they shut up though. Who knows, maybe the volume of the movie put them into comas or something. We can only hope.


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