Since I did read Keith's Blackberry Best Man Speech, I would like to give the response as Tim, the groom, that chose Keith as his Best Man.
Well.....that was a very formal speech.....I ugghhh.....I'm at a loss for words right now. Ummm, Rebecca and I did have our first child making session in my Jetta and yes she is the only one I've ever had sex with. I was actually unaware that the balcony had a VIP view of all that. It's nice to know that we could all find that out together, including Grandma Perkins. (nervous wipe of sweat beading up on Tim's forehead)
Well ughh, ummm since we're on the topic I think we should all know that the Best Man is a dishonest human being that has lost many bets in Atlantic City as well as the various horse tracks in the tri-state area. He is currently in about $50,000 debt and I have no intention of trying to help him in anyway with the money you all have graciously gifted to Rebecca and I today.
I may be a one-man woman but I must say Becca is the only lay I want to pound into the early morning. As for the Best Man, I would like say that my iPhone is much more efficient, and more friendly to my fingertips that your little one testicle roller ball. I'm actually recording this whole speech on my Voice Memos so I do not have to ever type any notes on my iPhone forever. Suck it!!!!