Here is my guide to all home-owners out there that want to enjoy Halloween but not have their homestead defiled by a bunch of pimply seventh graders. All the while still holding on to the best candy.
7)Practice archery on your front lawn
Serves anyone right if they walk on to you range without announcing themselves, they need to spend more time at summer camp.
6)Leave signs that read "caution skunk farm"
It is entirely up to you if you really have a skunk or not.
5)Offer unicef boxes
I hated charity as a child so I can only imagine what the children of today feel about giving.
4)Go super realistic and scary like halloween is your life.
Parents are always wary to send their children into a house that actually looks like a haunted mansion because what wacko takes a kids holiday that seriously.
3)Offer homemade biscuits
Every parent has warned their children not to accept anything homemade or in a package and you at least offered something to them. (This rule does not apply in the South)
2)Roast a pig on your front porch.
Nothing goes better with a roasted pig then homemade biscuits. (This rule does not apply in Montana)
Abraham Lincoln's profile has mocked Trick or Treaters for decades and does not look like he is slowing down now.
I hope everyone has a safe and healthy Halloween; save me your Necko Waffers, YUM!