Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Billy's Electricity Bill Is Going UP

Alright, so I pride myself on being someone that doesn't get scared by movies most of the time. I might jump at a jump scene, but for the most part I just don't get freaked out. Sometimes I wish I did, but most of the time I'm glad I don't have that stress. I also like to look tough and I don't wanna make a jackass out of myself in front of friends and strangers. I had been going well with that for years, and last week a movie came along and not only destroyed my streak of being freaked out in theaters, but obliterated the simple joys in life, like sleeping full nights, not having nightmares, and having the lights off at night.

Thanks, Paranormal Activity.

I will not be giving spoilers here, so fear not. I know several of my friends and most of HDO has yet to see this, so I don't want to ruin things. The basic premise is looking for paranormal activity in a house that a woman thinks she's being haunted in. Pure frickin terror ensues. Let me explain how this affected me since then.

  • On the ride home from the movie I needed movie blasting and it needed to be really upbeat to keep me distracted. Thanks, Hall And Oates.
  • I keep my basement lights on when I sleep, since ghosts clearly can't pass through rooms with light bulbs.
  • I avoid a certain bathroom late at night since it's not as lit and there's a chance that when I leave the bathroom something terrible will happen to me. Maybe the ghost would just push me back into the bathroom and take away the air fresheners. I'm telling you, these things mean frickin business.
  • The first few nights after the movie, anytime I closed my eyes I had specific visuals from the movie stuck in my head, so now I have to sleep with my eyes open. It's really freaking out my family.
  • It's making me look at Ghostbusters differently. Guys, ghosts are NOT a laughing matter.
Thanks for trying to ruin sleep, bowel movements and Peter Venkman for me, Paranormal Activity. You're a real bitch.

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