Sunday, October 4, 2009

Keith's Top Seven of the Week "Seven Reasons Why You Might Be Addicted To Ice Cream (This one is for the Dairy Queen ie Ryan)"

A tasty treat to enjoy on a steamy summer day or a hellish ride through an animal's frozen byproduct. Ice cream can make you smile or cry or smile and cry depending on if you are ICED. Iced is an industry term for Ice Cream Addiction. Here is my blog to find out if you or your loved ones are addicted.

7)They you know by name at Cold Stone Cremery
Clerk: "Oh, hey Tom. Back for you fifth cookies and cream swirl today?"
Tom: "Don't judge me."

6) You start replace the name of colors with ice cream flavors when describing things.
If this is you I would suggest steering clear of ethnic neighborhoods.

5) You hide ice cream around the house, car or place of buisness.
I once met a man so addicted to ice cream he would hide it in his suit pockets and on hot days he would look like he was sweeting from his nipples. I call him Dad.

4) You take board up you house with guns and food while declaring yourself the king of cream.
That man held out for 3 weeks before the police or rescue people could get into the house. What they found there was not a pretty scene, in fact he had dyed part of his white dog black then cut off it's legs. The dogs name was Napoleon.

3) You name all of you children like Ben and Jerry name ice cream.
My favorites include Fudge Peanut Butter Carol, Cherry Garcia and Tin Roof Sundae.

2) Your tear are no longer saline water but mint chocolate chip.
It's a funny visual.

1) You call out to "Fudgey the Whale" during intercourse.
The girlfriend will be pissed and confused because she will not be sure if you called her fat or if you just don't share with her because she never knew you had some weird animal fetish. Either way it will be a fun filled night for all!

Now that we have covered addiction we can move onto more fun topics like spousal abuse

No comments:

Post a Comment