Saturday, April 11, 2009

Keith's Top Seven of the Week "Jesus is everywhere, yet he still doesn't answer any of my F#@% text messages."

This weeks title is loosely based on the fact that today is Easter. It is also loosely based on the fact that Jesus is probably the inspiration for my favorite book characters ever, Waldo. Many of you may not know this but this is my first post on a blog website of any type, so in honor of the Zombie Jesus we are going to explore other times he has blessed us with his visage in common things... Welcome to the Top Seven of the Week.

#7 Jesus appears in Dental X-Rays
On Jesus' first stop on his tour of random items he decided to show up in a Phoenix, Arizona man's dental x-ray's. After being interviewed the Dentist was quoted as saying the mans exam was perfect exact for the stains on his teeth. He should have stayed out of the communion wine.

#6 Jesus appears in a bag of Cheetos
It was just another day in the normal life of Steven Cragg, a Houston native. When on the faithful day of March 25, 2008 he cracked open a bag of his favorite snack and the savior popped out. With boyish glee Steven screamed "O MY LORD, CHEESUS!"

#5 Jesus appears in Russia on a meteor
The meteorite crack into two as it rammed into the planet in the Far East of Russia. The image of Jesus' face can be seen on the split of the rock. The meteorite was dubbed Bullshitslavka by the town atheist.

#4 Jesus on a cake
This isn't a naturally occurring phenomena this is just excellent craftsmanship.

#3 Jesus appears in a potato chip
This next blessed snack food is one of the most popular Jesus pictures ever. It has changed hands through out the years. This potato chips journey starts as one of the spoils of the Crusades brought back by one of the Knights Templar. Moving from Vatican to the Church of England. Eventually it settled into the possession of Ms. Martha Kit all thanks to eBAY.

#2 Jesus appears in a dish of Spumoni
The number two Jesus siting comes to us from Salt Lake City, Utah. Where customers at Hatch Family Chocolates first spotted the blessed image. Shortly after the image was found a debate broke out among the customer whether this truly was a picture of Jesus or George Harrison in his India phase.

#1 Jesus appears in a dog's butt
It was just another lazy Sunday morning when Angus the dog began his morning ritual. He stretched his paws forward then leander back sticking his butt high in the air. At the precise moment, the morning sun hit Angus' butt just right and behold... Jesus !
He certain works in mysterious ways.