Saturday, April 18, 2009

Dr. Miche's Midweek Musings...

Hello, beautiful people! I know what you're thinking already (because you guys are so keen). You're thinking, "Hey Mich - why are you calling this a midweek musing when it's darn near Saturday?" Well, as it turns out, I currently live in a house with shoddy wiring in a town that is a cable modem nightmare. I haven't had internet for over a week. Facebook and email on my phone, sure, but no more substance than that. No surfing, no youtube, and none of my bills have been paid. Therefore, I am coming to you from a friendly neighbor's computer, and my cat is currently using my own computer as a shiny place to nap. *sigh*

As the eldest and possibly the nerdiest member of HDO, I thought it might be nice to impart some wisdom in my posts. So here are some things I've learned recently, some by conventional means, some the hard way, annotated for your pleasure.

* If one were so motivated to travel up north and eat the liver of a polar bear, that person would likely die due to an overdose of Vitamin A. (source: food network)

* When you find yourself playing darts at a bar, and one of the darts takes a wayward bounce off of the dartboard, resist the instinct to catch it barehanded. You'll end up bloody and embarassed. (source: my lame attempt at socializing last Friday night)

*Suprisingly, a tetanus shot is nearly painless. The next day, however, it feels like someone has been head-butting your arm for an hour and a half. (source: the fallout from above)

* Vampires have big hair (source: "Twilight", a movie that I can't believe I'm actually watching right now)

* Despite the fact that a co-worker insists that Beyonce's "I'm a Single Lady" is a song with a "positive message", I speak for the majority of single ladies when I say that we don't appreciate the gesture. That song is annoying. (source: any given radio station at any given time)

* There is a kid in this movie who looks like a 17-year old Edward Norton. (source: see above commentary... yes, I'm still watching this movie)

* Cat paws are similar to dog paws. They both smell like Fritos. (source: Brucewayne, my cat)

* A grouping of seals is called a "rookery." (source: jay and sean, also the discovery channel)

* No matter what Keith says, zombies are scary as hell. (source: 65% of my nightmares)

From me to you,


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