Saturday, January 2, 2010

Ryan on Day 2

2010. Day 2.

I woke up this morning at 12:02pm after a night of polishing off a bottle of champagne by myself. Look at how pathetic I am. I thought by day 2, I would have kicked the stuff. Old habits die hard, I s'pose. Also, I'm not as regular as I thought I'd be by day 2. Today - well let's just say I had a few pebbles rather than a well lubricated loaf of shit. God. How could I have been so naive? Some may say that I set my goals too high in such a short amount of time. I say "go fuck your momma's double wide ass".

It's 5:24. I have not yet finished this comic book. I promised that this was gonna be the year I read more. Why isn't this happening?! Why can't I get through this book?!? MOST OF IT IS PICTURES! BIG ONES!!!

Maybe I'm too concerned with killing Andrew from the real world d.c. Remember the days when you had to be semi attractive to be on that show? And also had to....uh...be able to speak? But hey - not everyone is a lost cause on that show. There's one girl who is a "maybe lesbian" who grew up in a cult. Just like Lindsay Lohan.

Side note: I want to be on DJ AM's GONE TOO FAR season 2. If anyone knows how to make it happen, please hit up my e-mail at BILLYSmomEATSweiners@gmail.com. But that's not my resolution.

My resolution for 2010 is for everyone to be afraid of me. So if you ever see me walk into the dunkin donuts with my pocket knife out, it's not a mistake. it's because I want things done my way - that menas TOASTED bagel with VEGETABLE cream cheese, bitch. And I want it now.

Time to go work on my "Bad Romance" duet with Kory.

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