So we play the Today Show for Conan O'Brien's 10th anniversary, our vice-principal gets a photo with the Chippendale's dancers and off we go to head back to shining central New Jersey at 8 or 9am. I have been awake and kicking for over 24 hours now. I'm starting to feel the burn of my 17 year-old frame telling me to GO TO SLEEP! As this is going on my friend Sean talks in a very girlish voice about a new thing called "Yam Stepping". It is a very complex activity that deserves the right amount of time to understand and execute in a professional manner.
First, you have a "Stepper". The Stepper is a someone who wears a shoe of some sort, be it a sneaker or loafer, it is ultimately up to the likes of the situation. Then you have the people who are being "Stepped". The Stepped are people, only males, who allow a Stepper to step on their genitalia. Gross, I know, but worth it!
Sean decided to describe all of these situations, in his exaggerated girlish voice, of people getting stepped like nobody's business. One that I remember, which was my last known memory before falling into a mini-coma from exhaustion from a camel and Al Roker, was of a scene in a backyard with a pool. You get all the Stepped in an in-ground pool with a nice cement walkway around its perimeter, it has to be a nice day where the sun is shining, and they put their junk up on the cement ledge. Here is where the Stepper proceeds to get ready for his job. The Stepper has to run at a pace where every other Stepped can be stepped by one foot, then after the first round, the Stepper has to turn around and step the remaining odd Stepped with the other foot. This creates symmetry and delay for the second round awaiting their doom seeing the pure agony of the already Stepped!
So as Sean is finishing this up I am laughing so hard that as I'm going down with my laugh volume, which in turn Sean looks over to me. I am slowly letting my head smear and droop down the window next to me as I am having my body do a fade out like a volume knob on a Bing Crosby record. While this is happening Sean is watching the whole thing in astonishment. He cannot believe his eyes and watches me laugh myself to sleep.
Very shortly after my passing out, our bus comes to the Tick-Tock Diner in Clifton, NJ off of Rt. 3. I am awoken to a halting bus and Sean. He then informs me that he witnessed me laugh myself to sleep and couldn't believe it. I vaguely remember my volume going down and leaning over a little bit, but everything after that was a dream.
I am very proud to bring this story to you, as well as the few other friends that have heard this. So the next time you stay up for more than 24 hours and your good friend is telling a funny story, you just follow in my footsteps of laughing yourself to sleep. Be well and sleep the whole night through ladies and gentleman.
Also, I found the video of the performance so you can see all of this. I am the first enormous bass drum with my pal Craig manning the end bass drum. What a memory!