Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Bill's Example Calls

I was wracking my brain trying to come up with a blog this week, trying to think of something funny to talk about, when I suddenly realized that sometimes I don't need to think of anything funny. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to have the funny come to me, and that's what been happening recently. Some calls I've made for work have yielded some strange people on the other side of the phone, and I thought I'd share some with you. (The name of my place is edited, because, well, they scare me)

Generally when I call people I'm following up on an event these possible customers may have come to, and I'm trying to sell people our product. I called one such guy last week and mentioned my company name, and the guy got very excited, and I thought I had a sale until he said what he THOUGHT was my company name:

"Oh yeah, COMBOS, I love Combos! Those things are great."

I got very confused, and realized that my company name sounds similar, so I corrected him, and all the life fell from his voice.

"Oh, right, you guys. Yeah, listen I gotta go." *Click*

This guy, thought a snack food company was calling him, for no good reason at all. I suppose it's every guy's dream in some way. I know that if the creator of Pretzel Flipz called me I'd probably have a coronary.

One guy I called immediately read right through any bullshit I was about to spew his way and cut me off:

"Listen buddy, I've heard this stuff 10,000 times. You're not gonna wow me, you're not gonna impress me. I signed up at your booth at that event because you were giving away yo-yos. I love yo-yo's. And I have no interest in what you're selling." *Click*

........WE SELL YO-YO'S!!!

We manage to get calls coming in as well. Sometimes we act as a basic receptionist transferring calls, and sometimes we get sales calls. We handle computer backup software but for large companies, and sometimes I guess people get mixed up thinking it's for their own personal use and not for their boss. A guy called yesterday in a panic. Keep in mind I thought he was talking about his own company, and his voice redefined the word fear:

"Hi. Listen. You gotta help me. It's gone. It's all gone. Everything. I lost everything. ALL MY STUFF HAS BEEN ERASED. I GOTTA FIND IT!! THAT STUFF GOES BACK YEARS!!!"

"Sure sir, no problem. Are you a current customer with us?"


"Ok, I need to take down some info."

So, I take down basic contact info, and then I go to the second section of questions, where I ask for the amount of data he needs protected or saved.

"Oh, I dunno. I mean, it goes back YEARS. Pictures from every summer, I know some of my old college essays. I had recipes too. And emails. I don't know what I'm gonna do.."

"Sir, is this just your personal computer?"

"Yes, it is."

"Ok, we focus on businesses. We don't sell our product for single personal computers."

"......Are you fucking with me right now?"

"No sir, unfortun-" *Click*

I love my job sometimes.

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