Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Billy and the 2010 Go-Getters

Oh hey everyone. Yes, breathe a sigh of relief. I have returned to blogging. Ok, keep breathing and now read on. Let's pretend we've never left each other shall we?

It's cliched to make resolutions, in my opinion. Don't get me wrong; I think it's good to have goals, but I think the idea of making a list of goals on January 1st can be intimidating. I feel like it's a list that just stares me down all year long. Over the years, I used to make lists, and they had the usual hits on it. Eat a wider variety of cheeseburgers, spend more time experiencing television, don't tax your heart with work outs. And throughout the years, I have been able to make good on those promises. As time goes on, my lists have grown smaller as my desire to live beyond 30 grows higher, and I keep some goals to make my way through the year, but I don't put the pressure of: "THIS IS MY RESOLUTION" behind it. That being said, over the years I would always hear that people made that famous weight loss resolution, and I always imagined that the first few weeks of January would be absolute chaos at a gym. Luckily, I never worried myself with joining a gym or eating vegetables, so I didn't have a first hand account. However, in mid-2009 I joined the dark side and joined Work Out World, and I could experience New Years Chaos first hand, and in a way, it absolutely exists.

My first trip to the gym was on January 4th. The gym I go to has a group of regulars. A mix of some old men, some big macho guys, three housewives who love sitting on the elliptical reading US Weekly and one woman who I loved watching on American Gladiators when I was eight. I expected to see them all there on the 4th of January, and when I entered, they were in fact there, along with 20 strangers. Suddenly, here were all these strange people I didn't know, using my machines, drinking from my water fountain. WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?!? Work Out World must make $12 billion every January. That's an actual stat. I was worried, WHERE WOULD I DO MY WORKOUTS WHILE I WATCHED EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND RERUNS?! I mean, listen to my workout mix.

Today, January 5th, I entered the gym nervously, and discovered to my surprise, that the only people there were the tough guys, the circus freaks and the geezers. Clearly, the new people saw the writing on the wall of their own lives and realized sleeping was a better option. It's days like this that I appreciate America's love of laziness.

This blog's abrupt ending has been brought to you by my desire to sleep.

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