Friday, November 13, 2009

Ryan in Da Gym

You can get carded for purchasing Nyquil now. Did you know that? Well, you can. I don't exactly know when that started happening, but apparently it's all the rage.

So, as Thanksgiving approaches and we make lists of what we are all thankful for - like the new Lady Gaga music video - I took a good look at my life and decided that there is nothing I am more thankful for than to be done with high school.

After watching a MADE episode, all i could think was "someone should go back to high schools all over the country and tell people it gets better". I went to an all boys high school where my twin sister was more popular than I was. Even with my teachers. One of the Brothers gave out "clues" we had to remember so that if he ever had trouble remembering our name, we would reveal the clue. Mine was "Katie".

The worst part was gym. I had a hard time recalling what it was like my first two years, but in junior year we had the option of playing a sport with the rest of the class or "working out". I chose to go into the gym and pump iron. and By pump iron I mean run on the treadmill for 45 minutes because I couldn't figure out how to work the other machines. But I do remember looking over and seeing my one friend Sanjay riding on the bike. He was at the top of our class, and clearly we shared the same genius for staying out of the way of the muscular kids. As far as they were concerned, we were just bulking up so we could join in on the fun of throwin the old pig skin around.

I now have a WOW memebership and have had said membership for two years. I have gone three times. The last time I was there, working on my abs, my keys, phone, and wallet all fell out of my gym shorts. Why were they in my pockets and not in a locker? I hate looking like I'm lost, so rather than walk around aimlessly - I figured I could just hang on to it - and jingle every time I ran.

Speaking of looking like an idiot - I bought the P90X dvds, you know the ones that have you do the chest, arms, stomach, legs, kenpo, and yoga? You do it for 90 days and get ripped. I did it for a week. i was bored with yoga on the 6th day so i decided to do my chest again. the tapes are only an hour long and I was generous with my water breaks. As I geared up to finish up my workout, my body decided it would rather vomit up all the water I just drank. It was still cold. and I vomitted into a Hollister bag. I don't think I've ever felt more pathetic.

Well that's not true. one time I woke up naked, covered in thrown up chines food. That was the most pathetic moment of my life.


Well, so...I guess I'm thankful that I have nice friends who don't judge me despite all of my stupid undertakings.

Right guys?




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