Ohhhhhhhhh man, boys and girls. It's almost that time of year once again. I'm not here to rip on any other holidays or put down other people's favorite times of year, but MY personal favorite time of year is fast approaching.
Cut to Charlie Brown and Company singing around an ice skating rink.
CHRISTMAS TIIIIIIIIIIIIIME, IS HEEEEEEEEEERE.
That's right folks. Christmas time.
The Christmas specials. The Christmas cookies. The Christmas TV specials. The Christmas music. The Christmas decorations. And most importantly. The Christmas music. A full month of nothing but all your old classic Christmas songs. You know you love them. And some of you hate them. But deep down you love them. If you reply that you hate them, that just means you love them even harder. These are facts.
My only complaint, despite loving the time of year, is how messed up the schedules get. Even I think there is such a thing as Christmas overkill, and when you have all the Christmas movies out a week after Halloween, and the commercials out the same time, and the stores are decorated mid-October, it kinda loses its feel doesn't it? I mean, I know all of you want MORE MORE MORE Christmas, but people, we have to be reasonable. I don't need Christmas Carol this early, I don't want to hear about Holly Jolly seasons, or decking any halls. This is the time of year to prepare for turkey, and stuffing, and more turkey, and some football if you're so inclined.
Here's what I propose. I want you all to do me a favor. For the good of Jesus, and Santa, and Bing Crosby songs, and snow, and Garfield Christmas, and Lights and Display Contests, and Harry Bailey, and Drunk Santas at the Macy's Parade, let's try and spend the next week not focusing on the Christmas season. Let's go on hunger strikers, distract our minds with thoughts of food, but still deprive ourself the nurishment we need, and then on Thanksgiving, let's each eat 20 pounds of turkey and cranberry, and then spend 6 hours in the bathroom, singing Jingle Bells and getting in the season together.
I literally mean together. Let's share a toilet.