Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Billy vs. The Waiting Game

Ok, so I've been to the doctor recently a couple times. Lucky for me, it's been the first few times in a while, which is is simply amazing considering my diet of bacon cheeseburgers, beer and chocolate covered pretzels I've been working through for a quarter century. Well, it caught up with me finally, but that's another story(but not another blog). I had forgotten the process at a doctor's office, and really had not had to experience much at later ages where I didn't need a parent with me, so I had some new situations arise.

First of all, they need to screen the people sitting at the receptionist desk. You would think that the first people you saw while entering the office were bright smiling face that would help you relax right? That's what I want to see. My doctor doesn't believe in such a silly policy. The older woman that was working the desk seemed flustered and annoyed, and kept moaning to the people around her that she was having a miserable morning. She took my insurance card and couldn't get the scanner to work and kept slamming the side of it, trying to Fonzie it back to life but to no avail. Then, she put my file in the wrong folder, and I saw the wrong doctor(something I only discovered later when I made my followup appointment.)

Once I sat in the FIRST waiting room for several minutes, as Regis and kelly played and I looked at all the old people surrounding me, and saw that despite the clientele, they only had magazines for kids, and I resisted the urge to check out the latest adventures of Goofus and Gallant. I got called in to the actual room, where the nurse asked me the standard questions that you'd THINK would be a doctor's job. She then told me the doctor would be in momentarily, and left. That was at 8:22. My appointment time was 8:15. I had work at 9:00.








As I waited, I discovered stuck in the stack of crap magazines, that there was a copy of the People magazine with the SBTB reunion, and my buzz was gone when I discovered the much hyped article was only a page long.

Finally, at 8:57, the doctor rolled in. What a bitch. She reviewed everything I had told all the other people, gave me some diet suggestions, told me to get some bloodwork done, and I was out of there in 3 minutes. What a gigantic waste of time that was. I mean, it was beneficial to me, but it was 6 minutes of help in 48 minutes of sitting. Total joke.

Next time guys, if you feel yourself getting sick. Just wait it out, or create your own medicine. It'll work wonders, and you'll have plenty of extra time for the chocolate covered beer burgers that got you there in the first place.

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