Friday, March 26, 2010

Ryan and the Sound of Music

It was roughly 7 a.m. when the thought hit me. It's early, I know, but some of my ideas come when I least expect them, like uninvited guests to one of my dress up parties.

I was working in the store with two teenage boys, and for some odd reason, we had decided to stick to our own iPods. We worked to our own beat, not talking to one another. As I checked the presentations in the front room, a disturbing thought occurred to me. "If a murderer came in here RIGHT NOW, held a gun to my head and said "switch iPods or I'll kill you!"...would I be willing? Because, you see, at this point in time, 7:00 am, Madonna was blasting in my ears. How embarrassing, I thought.

But then I began to wonder what THEY were listening to. Something cool, I bet. Or maybe not. Probably just stuff they hear on the radio. I've got some good stuff on mine, stuff they've probably never heard. So I stopped working and began to scroll through my playlist. "Come on, find something good. Something WORTHY!"

And then it hit me. I have horrible taste in music. I don't like a certain type of music, I accept tunes from all walks of life. But because I accept ANYTHING, I clearly have no standards. So, I've decided to bare my soul, and list for you my most embarrassing tracks.

The X-Men Cartoon Theme song. Weird. But fucking awesome.
Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" (three times) because once isn't enough.
The "Angel" Theme song. was a gift?
"Pieces of Me" by Ashlee Simpson. I hate her so this baffles me.
An entire Blue Man Group cd. (...)
Works by Christopher Beck...aka "fight songs from Buffy the Vampire Slayer". If the zombie apocalypse happens, I know what tracks I'll be playing!
Clay Aiken's Christmas album. Because everyone loves a lesbian christmas.
Enya's "Only Time".
Hannah Montana. i actually ASKED my twelve year old cousin for this cd, only to discover that it was a double disc! BONUS!
"Jennifer Lopaz"...because Jennier Lopez is too classy
Oh, hey! Kenny Loggins. I knew I could count on him to make an appearance!
La Bouche's "wanna be my lover". An oldie but a goodie. No matter how you argue it.
Matthew Hall and Meagan Moore. You may know their deut from "The Polar Express". I saw that movie with my english professor in my sophomore year of college. It has sentimental value, assholes!
Menudo. the NEW menudo. not even the old one! (cries)
Moulin Rouge. I think I downloaded this when I was drunk. Yeah...drunk. really drunk.
Newsies. Christian Bale's got the pipes, son!
O-Town "Liquid Dreams" because that's what i get when I listen to it.
Susan Boyle's cover of Wild Horses. She's ugly but I want her to be filthy rich.
Vitamin C's "Graduation Song". I can explain...
Remember the fake mtv band, 2Gether? If you don't, I have all their cds! My older brother gave them to me. (because I asked for them)
"Pippin's Song" From Lord of the Rings.
And finally...the Wicked soundtrack. because I love being a stereotype.

NOW JOT DOWN YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING TRACKS! Then take them out of your iPod, and bury them in the backyard.

No comments:

Post a Comment