Sunday, May 17, 2009

Top Seven of the Week "Words that tickle me pink (etymology bitches!)"

Words, we know them, we love them and we can't live without them. Sometimes I hear words that make me giggle like the tiny schoolboy who finally caught that damn chipmunk who has been taunting me… them from the window for the past three years. This week I decided to compile a list of words that are hilarious to me, we can all have a good laugh and then you can make your own list and post it. I like comedy that is circular.

7)Zygote

This microscopic cell is the production of when an egg and a sperm meet in the fallopian tubes and fuse together. While the word itself used in context is not very amusing but out of context it can be quite hilarious. For example,

“Girl, you best not be zygote’in on me!” said Keith to his last three girlfriends before dumping them and avoiding the child support.

Or my other favorite is,

“A zygote is not a living being and I can abort it anytime I want because I don’t want the government to control my uterus,” said the bra-burning feminist.

6)Potato

Single handedly the cause of and solution to all of Irelands problems. This underground tuber is a versatile food that can be prepared in a myriad of different ways. It is also very fun to say potato in your best Irish accent.

5)Bosom

Bosom is a euphemism for breasticles or in more scientific terms fun bags. Men and lesbians, the next time you are out on a date with your girl or wife lean over and tell her how much you enjoy her bosom in the dress or blouse and I personally guarantee that she will think you are as classy as Humphrey Bogart.

4) Hornswoggle

Have you ever been hornswoggled! I have and trust me when I say it is NOT fun unless of course someone points out the fact that you have been hornswoggled and they use the exact words “O man, You just got hornswoggled.” Then everyone has a good laugh and forgets about the fact that a traveling sales man just stole your blue ribbon hog and gave your daughter shingles.

3)Slurry

Webster’s Dictionary defines slurry as a thin mixture of a liquid, especially water, and any of several finely divided substances, such as cement, plaster of Paris or clay particles. I am not the only person who loves a good slurry because the famous celebrity Tom Cruise decided to name his daughter after this word. Slurry Cruise.

2)Uvula

A uvula is the dangling piece of flesh in the back of your throat. It helps you make guttural sounds in languages like German and some African languages. The uvula is that thing you see in all the cartoons when someone screams or in all the porn movies when a black guy dismounts the face of a woman with daddy issues.

1) Sacapuntas

The finally word on my list is a Spanish word. Donkey Show? No. Aztec death game where the participants have their heads removed for the game ball? No. A shot of tequila that you drink through your eyes ? NO. It’s the Spanish word for pencil sharpener.


Now that you have these wonderful words to add to your lexicon, my challenge to you is to use them all together at once in one big ass sentence that makes sense.

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