Thursday, December 10, 2009

What's My Age Again?

So, as some of you have seen I recently got a haircut. Since I got bangs, people have been saying that it either makes me look younger or older. More specifically, I either look like I'm 7 years old or 46 years old. In reality I'm actually turning 23, but I would like to point out the pros and cons of looking 7 or 46.

7 years old:

PRO: I can play in the McDonald's Playplace and no one will think that I'm trying to kidnap their child.

CON: No one will approve of my excessive drinking problem.

PRO: I will be the coolest kid in the 3rd grade because I know the true purpose of a penis...and how to use it.

CON: The only people that will have sex with me are child rapists and Catholic priests.

PRO: two words....high metabolism.

CON: small tits.

46 years old:

PRO: I can drink, smoke, and rent a car without the judgment.

CON: I can't tell people one of my favorite movies is Mean Girls...or say "You go Glen Coco!"

PRO: I won't need a ride from my parents to go hang out with my friends.

CON: I will only have one friend...the other den mother who smells weird.

PRO: MILF status.

CON: saggy tits.

I really can't decide which is better. So I guess I should enjoy being 23 while gravity is still kind to my tits.

Love,
Lizzie

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