Info you need!

Here's the info that you need to come see us!

The Premier Theatre Co.
1100 Ocean Ave on the Boardwalk
Asbury Park, NJ

every FRIDAY: 10pm
$5 admission
All Ages.

Parking:
$2 per hr Ocean Ave
$1 per hr on 3rd, 4th, 5th Avenues
$5-10 in Lot (depending on Events)

The performing space on the Boardwalk and is the 4th Ave Pavillion between 3rd and 4th Ave. You can't miss it!

For more info visit:
HDO at Premier Theatre

Check out all the happenings and shows from Premier at:
The Premier Theatre Co.

This is an ice tray with Han Solo. I know what I'll be ordering in 3...2...1....

Winehouse

In honor of Amy Winehouse dying on my birthday (that's fact), I came across this wonderfully brilliant portrait done by artist Jason Mecier made entirely of various pills.

-Sean

You're welcome.

You need to look at this.

http://dadsaretheoriginalhipster.tumblr.com/

-HDO

every friday night.......every week........every month......every calendar year....


SEE YOU THERE.

so during the last show....

while everyone was thinking about their creepy Uncle Carls, or that overweight bus driver who used to honk a horn to grab your attention in the 3rd grade, I was thinking about Carl Sagan and the 4th Dimension.

and we must, of course, ask ourselves the question, 'Where did God come from?'

or you can just come back to PREMIER OFF THE CUFF this Friday, March 4th, for all the unanswered questions you may have about life and the universe..... or Carl Sagan.

10:00

5th Avenue Pavillion

1200 Ocean Avenue

Asbury Park, NJ

don't forget your student ID's for discounted admission!

-A

Premier Theatre Co.

Thank you to all the wonderful audience members for helping kick off our debut show last night in Asbury Park! Big thanks to The Premier Theatre Co. for starting what should be an ongoing Friday night series.

Premier: Off The Cuff feat. HDO
Every Friday night at 10pm
5th Ave Pavilion Ocean Ave (across from the Wonder Bar)
Asbury Park, NJ
$10, or $8 w/ valid Student ID

Check out Premier on Facebook for more news and happenings:
http://www.facebook.com/PremierTheatre

See you all soon,
HDO

HAPPY NEW YEARS!

Love, HDO

Our New Years Resolutions you ask!? Come to our next show January 5th to find out!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM HDO!

Helicopter Dance Off would like to wish you all a very, Merry Christmas.

and hold your heads up, because even when Aunt Mara finishes the last of the egg nog and Uncle Bobby inappropriately grazes your chest while reaching for the yams, remember that we love you and can't wait to celebrate THE NEW YEAR with you all next Wednesday, mixing great resolutions with really bad jokes.

A Proper Well-Balanced Diet

Make sure you know what you are feeding your cat.

-Sean

GREETINGS FROM NEVADA!

It's 1:00AM and, as usual, I am restless, exploring the soft curves of my friend named the internet. After checking facebook, twitter, several blogs and all other social networks for updates, newsfeed and notifications, I find myself casually perusing google images, like any other evening spent alone with my macbook. I tend to get a kick out of typing in bizarre combinations of words into the search bar and laughing by myself at whatever unrelated images show up. I wanted share with you all some of my favorites, starting with the trifecta of 'cat whisper cream', shown above. There is clearly no cat in the picture, nor is there any cream, or at least as far as I can tell... Although she appears as though she could be a whisperer, it comes off as a creepy knitting advertisement.

Below is what showed up for the search for 'gloved bacon retro', who knew there was even such a thing... THERE IS A GOD!

Moving on. For anyone who caught tonight's show, you witnessed a beat down between Sean and I, in what started as a Volleyball serve, and ended as getting my ass served back to me on a silver plate. Truth be told Sean is a vegetarian and, in my opinion, a peaceful monarch in search of the perfect sunflower to perch upon... He wouldn't hurt a fly, which is perhaps why the scene was incredibly funny to be in. His beat down DID however remind me of two things: how much I love volleyball, and how much I love violence. Now mix those two together and you've got an upgraded version of any WWF match. Naturally, it being 1:00AM and I being restless, put google images to the test in searching 'volleyball'... who knew there were so many different kinds? For exmaple...

There's Volleycat:

There's Volleyshark:

There's Volleyseal:

Hell! There's even Volleywhale:

...it wasn't until I was curious enough to type in 'Abusive Male Volleyball Player', where I was graced with this gift from God, that's right ladies and gents, Senator Reid, as a turkey...

Not to get all political on anyone, but Reid did numerous campaigns against domestic violence, and according to Nevada natives, hasn't done shit to support the cause, but quite frankly, it's Nevada, so who gives a shit... I did, however, find the following excerpt from a press conference with the Senator rather amusing, mostly the bolded phrase:

“Men when they’re out of work tend to become abusive,” Reid said as he argued in favor of a cloture vote on the jobs bill. “I met with some people while I was home dealing with domestic abuse. It has gotten out of hand. Why? Men don’t have jobs. Women don’t have jobs either, but women aren’t abusive, most of the time. Men, when they’re out of work, tend to become abusive. Our domestic crisis shelters in Nevada are jammed.”

That's right America.... women don't have jobs, nor are they abusive......most of the time....

That's all for now. I'm heading back to google images.

-Amylee

This is for any little girl out there who once had a dream of becoming a police dog team, and didn't... This trailer is for you.

-Amylee

"Ice Cream, Officer?"

My lack of driving skills and I have been pulled over 11 times.

Tonight, we made it a dozen.

As I was pulling out of the Inkwell Coffee House in Long Branch, yes, that's right folks, your favorite improv comedy venue, I developed the sudden urge for some Tasti-D-Lite. For those of you who are unaware of what this treasure is, it's downright 'skinny ice cream'. That's right, ice cream, but not really. Frozen yogurt, yet, not at all. It's delicious and conveniently located a block and a half away from Inkwell.

Anyway, after two hours of ballroom dancing and discussing how many calories are in desserts at Applebees with some fellow HDO members, Tasti-D-Lite was just what I needed, and Tasti-D-Lite was what I was going to get. As I made my way into the small shack of an ice cream haven illuminated by blue neon lights, I ordered my chocolate macaroon (I can't say ice cream, because once again, it isn't) in a waffle cone (because I eat ice cream like I'm 12) coated in rainbow sprinkles and butterfingers pieces (because one topping is never enough topping). There was something deep inside telling me that driving home while eating this gem of frozen goodness could be a challenge, though nothing I haven't done before. So my knees did the driving as I devoured what started as a cone, and at the squeeze of my left hand, crumbled into a mound of melting frozen goodness and a dozen little waffle cone pieces.

It was then I saw the lights.

At first I was convinced they were going after somebody else, because my knees are wonderful drivers, but then I realized that the cop car and I were the only two on the road. I grabbed the wheel with one chocolate covered hand and pulled over to the best of my ability. Meanwhile, my face is covered in ice cream, as is my chest, the top of my shirt, my thighs and my steering wheel. I was a mess, but you wouldn't have wasted the $5.75 Tasti-D-Lite, either. That's no bargain.

"License and registration, please." I continued to lick all parts of my left hand as my right held what was quickly becoming all liquid. It was then the officer noticed my ice cream took precedent over this whole authority situation. I explained that I had just gotten the cone a moment prior and that I could not waste the $5.75. The officer was obviously an ice-cream hating Christian, because he then instructed me to get rid of the cone (well, cone pieces). I panicked for a minute, and then went about reaching out my window to throw the cone on the ground, when the officer informed me that I would then be littering, and he would be forced to write me an additional ticket due to the paper surrounding the bottom of the cone. It was then I realized that I was bent over in front of the strong hand of the law. So I did what any hungry, foolish twenty year-old would do and I shoved all that was left of my cone into my mouth. He stood looking down at me, somewhat baffled and somewhat disapproving. I then wiped my hands on my shirt (goodbye blouse) and handed him my license, registration, insurance and chocolate covered PBA card. He disappeared for a minute, walked back, handed me my things along with a wet one and simply said 'I Love Tasti-D-Lite, clean up and have yourself a good night, now.'

So the moral of my story is, always eat Tasti-D-Lite, or at least carry a PBA card.

-Amylee (you know, that other girl)

Breaking the silence!

As entertainers it can be a hard life of self-fulfillment and tons of groupies that cannot be fought off. This here is my dear friend Marlo's episode for her show where she shows the true meaning of what it is to be an entertainer. Enjoy!



-Sean

Yep...

...someone thought this was a good idea to make.

-Sean

Ryan on Love

So I'm sitting at work today, taking a major shit. Felt like a football.

Anyway, as I'm relaxing, thinking about this and that, the tip of my weenis is like... tapping the inside of the bowl. It's practically knocking.

So there I am, with my penis on the inside of the bowl and I'm thinking to myself "my god, this is disgusting! Thank god nobody has to put their mouth on this -"

Oh.
Wait.


So now I'm thinking, "My god, how many people have had toilet bowl weiner INSIDE their mouth?" Then I'm thinking to myself, "what about the instances where someone has left...ya know...TRACKS"

I work with 45 people. 45 PEOPLE HAVE SHIT IN THAT TOILET! So my penis is touching the communal toilet and I KNOW we don't clean it. Even thought we're supposed to every wednesday and saturday. nobody goes NEAR that thing!

So, as I'm finishing up, I'm laughing. I am laughing on the toilet with my pants around my ankles, because I am thinking what a mean trick this would be to play on some whore who wants a penis in her mouth. And she wouldn't know. Especially if it was a trick.

So next time, whore, you put a ween in your mouth - say, AT A PARTY - just remember that the tip of that ween was probably scraping the inside of the toilet bowl. And now it's in your mouth.

Good luck, whore. Hope he calls tomorrow.

It's a Doggy Dog World

So, working in Asbury Park gives me the opportunity to watch a wide variety of people walk by. And one trend that I've come to notice is that a lot of people own dogs. But the strange thing about this is that many of them LOOK like their dogs. Now I've never understood this, as I look nothing like my dog (he's black and I'm obviously Korean), but it really is a true occurrence. Here are some examples:









































But the only thing better than people who look like dogs, are people who look like cats:




KITLER!!!!










Meow!

-Lizzie

Check This Out

My very good friend Erik X. Raj has released his very own Children's Book entitled, "One Seashell, Two Seashell, Flap, Flap, Flap." Erik is an accomplished Speech-Pathologist that is spreading his message of positivity in working hard to meet your goals.

I know this is a comedy blog, but let's take a slight step away from that and look at the creative minds that are at work. Art is about expression. To fully appreciate art whether it is Keith acting as Dracula on stage while Lizzie is a Werewolf just outside of Six Flags, the same art of Erik's book expressed some great messages while having fun at the same time.

"One Seashell, Two Seashell, Flap, Flap, Flap" by Erik X. Raj from erikxraj on Vimeo.

If you would like to purchase this influential book you can check out Erik's site at http://www.erikxraj.com/store

Hopefully this will inspire you to do great things.

Your pal,
Sean

Billy Goes Old School

Like most kids in 1997, I owned a Nintendo 64 and my life revolved around Goldeneye 007 multiplayer. If you were not a kid like me, I'm sorry you didn't have a true childhood. Clearly, the folks at CollegeHumor DID have a childhood, and have allowed us this stroll down memory lane.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

My love of Minivans

Toyota has a great new marketing scheme to promote their new Sienna minivans to the likes that has never been seen!



I know I'm starting to think of ditching the latest vehicle I'm driving to hop into one of these bad boys really soon. I can always a lease a family to go with it, I'm not worried.

-Sean