Ryan on Love

So I'm sitting at work today, taking a major shit. Felt like a football.

Anyway, as I'm relaxing, thinking about this and that, the tip of my weenis is like... tapping the inside of the bowl. It's practically knocking.

So there I am, with my penis on the inside of the bowl and I'm thinking to myself "my god, this is disgusting! Thank god nobody has to put their mouth on this -"

Oh.
Wait.


So now I'm thinking, "My god, how many people have had toilet bowl weiner INSIDE their mouth?" Then I'm thinking to myself, "what about the instances where someone has left...ya know...TRACKS"

I work with 45 people. 45 PEOPLE HAVE SHIT IN THAT TOILET! So my penis is touching the communal toilet and I KNOW we don't clean it. Even thought we're supposed to every wednesday and saturday. nobody goes NEAR that thing!

So, as I'm finishing up, I'm laughing. I am laughing on the toilet with my pants around my ankles, because I am thinking what a mean trick this would be to play on some whore who wants a penis in her mouth. And she wouldn't know. Especially if it was a trick.

So next time, whore, you put a ween in your mouth - say, AT A PARTY - just remember that the tip of that ween was probably scraping the inside of the toilet bowl. And now it's in your mouth.

Good luck, whore. Hope he calls tomorrow.